Staying Current :)

Remember, remember, this is now, and now, and now.
Live it, feel it, cling to it. I want to become acutely aware of all I've taken for granted.
- Sylvia Plath

The Year that Will Be...

Fearless and Adventurous.

Of courage and daring. And doing things anyways.
Of truth and love. Even with self. Absolutely with self.
Of being. Just being.
And happiness. Not letting go of a single opportunity to smile. And smile I shall. :) through and through.

Happy 2013 me! And Lord knows it'll be happy, you lucky dope, you!

A Rant. Not Much.

I don't remember much of my school days. In fact, there was probably nothing memorable about them at all. I went through it all in a daze of naivete, in my own little world, head in books, feet on clouds.

From what I hear now, I was blessed.

Yesterday, I read Amanda Palmer's blog that introduced me to Amanda Todd. My heart broke. BROKE. And then, today morning, the ghastly news about the Ohio Twitter Rape thing. In light of what's happening in our country- this seems right on par. And yet I realize...

Actually, I don't.

I don't get the judgments. I don't get the hatred. And I don't get this bullying.

For what? If you feel compassion for the rapist, feel it. There's nothing wrong with it. But why does compassion for one turn into hatred for the other? Is it because in each of those five men, you see yourself reflecting? Or is it to justify to your loved ones that you won't be able to save them when the time comes? What is it about human nature that makes us feel better after making someone feel worse? Slut. It's so easy to call someone that. To brand them. That does not replace the word 'human' though. Same feelings. Same life. I remember the saying- Sticks and stones may hurt my bones, but words shall never hurt me. Sometimes, they hurt more.

I heard that the girl in the DPS MMS scandal had to relocate to USA to get away from everything. I wish the boys, who had perpetrated that crime against her, would also HAVE to relocate. I wish that everyone who circulated that clip for their or others' amusement, when they see their mothers and their sisters and maybe tomorrow, their daughters, they realize, if at least for a second, realize what they did and repent.

I'm not a commodity. To be given away by my father, protected by my brother and handed over to a husband. Sometimes I feel like never entering a kitchen- not because I can't cook- but just to spite the macho men on TV these days who proudly say that it is where I belong. I don't even know if I want to marry.

I see it. I hear it. I ignore it. I keep my car doors locked. I shy away from arguing with louts. I look down and walk fast. I don't enter crowds. Not even at temples. I SMS my parents the cab details when I get in. And I talk with them on the phone to let the driver know that they know. I'm not on Facebook. I am loathe to put any of my photos online because I know that they may be misused. Friends or not. I don't go for late night shows. I don't go partying. I don't go clubbing and I always try to get home before sun down.

I also don't curse- because I've realized that at the receiving end of most curses is a woman. Even when you curse a man.

Who am I to judge though? I've done it too. And not just to women. To friends and foes. Whomsoever it was, I'm sorry. I truly am.

So, to all people- men and women- like Baba Ramdev and Asaram Ji- may you be blessed with a woman's perspective in some other life. Till then, it's just tilting at the windmills.

Warm Bodies

“I would like to end it here. How nice if I could edit my own life. If I could halt in the middle of a sentence and put it all to rest in a drawer somewhere, consummate my amnesia and forget all the things that have happened, are happening, and are about to happen. Shut my eyes and go to sleep happy.”

I remember this one day a few months back. I was at my home in Bangalore, alone, in my balcony. I had just finished talking to my folks. It was dusk and raining lightly. I remember breathing in that beautiful rainy scent, feeling the light breeze on my face and sighing. And as I sat on the parapet, I remember thinking- This. This is how my life should be. Perfect. Happy. Content. And if I could pause my life here, at this point. I'd be done.

“You should always be taking pictures, if not with a camera then with your mind. Memories you capture on purpose are always more vivid than the ones you pick up by accident.”

And somehow, memory of that night is still fresh in my mind. Because I decided. I decided that night, that tomorrow, come what may, I'll remember this. This perfect moment. And smile. That decision has kept me in good stead thus far.

Isn't it amazing when an author takes your thoughts and describes it perfectly on the page in front of you?

I never thought I would be waxing eloquent about a book on a 'Zombie' romance. I mean, I can quote 1984, or Metamorphosis or Murakami, even Lord of the Rings, (and I admit, at times, Harry Potter), but really, a zombie romance? I thought all they did was grunt and groan 'Brrrrrrraaaaaaiiiiiinsss' (Atleast that's what Plant Vs Zombies would have me believe) and did I not spend hours- yes, hours- mercilessly (ok- not mercilessly) killing zombies in that very game? (Just so that I could take the screenshot of the last winning screen and send the same to Suds to showcase my ultimate zombie killing prowess). In fact, to be honest, I'm not even done reading that book- Yup- I'm like, half way through. But its got me thinking. Thinking, pausing, pondering, & going back...

Maybe I'll write more when I'm done...