Avengers: The Questions

So.... Didn't Thor end with a loss of connection between Asgard and earth? Exactly how did he reach earth to form Avenger then? And then, Hulk (smash!) is out of control one moment and completely in control the next? How does that work, really? How, I ask...How?

Places I Gotta Visit: Jamaica

Concerning Words...

Music can bring up some amazing memories....there are haunting melodies and then there are words.

I wanted this post to be about lyrics..but the more I write, the more I want to talk about Helen Keller. She couldn't hear, speak or talk. That was her world.

What was her world? Are you sad if you don't know what you are feeling is sad? There were no words. Never before have I felt gratitude so intense than when imagining my life through her lens.

“Have you ever been at sea in a dense fog, when it seemed as if a tangible white darkness shut you in, and the great ship, tense and anxious, groped her way toward the shore with plummet and sounding-line, and you waited with beating heart for something to happen? I was like that ship before my education began, only I was without compass or sounding-line, and had no way of knowing how near the harbour was. "Light! give me light!" was the wordless cry of my soul, and the light of love shone on me in that very hour.”

I was reading her book- The Story of My Life...and when she talks about her discovery of language, my heart burst open. Literally. Like there was blood spatter everywhere.

Ok. Figuratively. But it did.

We take our words for granted. Our language for granted. Our thoughts for granted. Not knowing how much to be utterly grateful for. I remember reading this quote somewhere that says (in a nutshell) say whatever you want, but you can't say anything other than who you are. Made me wonder who I am and what words am I using. What am I reinforcing? By saying that I'm sad, am I acknowledging the truth or reinforcing it? And if I then say that I'm happy instead, am I just living in denial? Sometimes, I just want to take my brains out and stomp on them just to make them feel what it's like. This mental stomping. A mishmash of tapping and paso doble. 

Sigh. Anyways, going back to Helen Keller. She was one smart woman. And she writes so well. This gift...gift to put your words exactly like so...that makes complete and utter sense. That tells you so succinctly, so precisely, that this was the thought that would forever define that particular experience. And no other. Like every time I stand on a roof top, near the edge, I can't help but quote Gaiman- for he stole my thoughts perfectly- I'm not scared that I'd fall....I'm scared that I'll want to jump. For that's what it feels like. That subtle itch that wants me to fly. Just fly. And just for those precious few seconds know my true nature. 

I'm not the one for fancy words, or detailed prose. Yet as simple it may be, Vikram Seth in all his glory or Rumi with his heart (all heart...his writing is all heart) is something that reels me in and keeps me there. On the tenterhooks, waiting for the sky to fall and this illusion to shatter. That this feeling will go away and will be replaced by the reality. I can feel it now...like part exhilaration and part numbness. Like meditation... 

I'm not sure how to end this. This commentary on thoughts and words. I'm not even sure how it came about...but here's a lovely thought by Ms Keller to hold me by...

“I wonder what becomes of lost opportunities? Perhaps our guardian angel gathers them up as we drop them, and will give them back to us in the beautiful sometime when we have grown wiser, and learned how to use them rightly.”

Sigh. Beautiful sometime. You see? Sigh. What words....